Photograph of a Tangerine

For a moment, the tangerine was a metaphor in his hand, but by the time he began peeling it, the thought had left him voided of any sense of the internal world’s expressive meaning associated with the fruit.

The wrinkles in his forehead had intensified their ridges. Mere seconds had passed. Whatever it was, it had been powerful.

The investigation sat crisply in the foreground, in shallow focus while the slices of tangerine disappeared into the bokeh of his mouth. When he gave up, he had gained nothing but the citric stickiness on his hand and the faint aftertaste of what he’d just consumed on his tastebuds.

The healthy treat seemed to have vanished. An existential waste. He stomped to the kitchen sink to wash his hands, and he vowed never to eat another tangerine until he could remember the metaphor.

50 years later, on his hover-death-bed, he said, “Eureka: I have it!”

But he didn’t really have it. He just wanted to taste one last tangerine. So he did. It was great! But then he died, and his hover-children were like, “Gross. Dead dad.”

The eldest hover-son took a stereoscopic “3D” photo with his EyePhone contact lenses, squinted a retro filter on to it that made his father’s corpse look orange with a reddish haze, and then left-winked it onto Facebook below a frowny face caption. He double-blinked several times within the first minute, refreshing his timeline and relishing the anxiety that came with waiting to see the first red notification symbol, waiting for the second and the third, waiting to see just how many Likes of condolence it would earn.



The October Diaries: Insidious

insidious-2010-demon 
Illustration by Max Brown
Blurbs by Sean & Christof
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The October Diaries: Curse of Chucky

curse-of-chucky-2013-childs-play-6-poster-b Illustration by Max Brown
Blurbs by Sean & Christof
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The October Diaries: Society

Society-1989-film-Brian-Yuzna Illustration by Max Brown
Blurbs by Sean & Christof
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The October Diaries: Wait Until Dark

Illustration by Max Brown
Blurbs by Erin Roycroft, Sean & Christof
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The October Diaries: Sole Survivor

SoleSurvivor
Illustration by Max Brown
Blurbs by Sean & Chrisjof
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The October Diaries: Cat People

cat-people-1982-remake-black-panther-A1
Illustration by Max Brown
Blurbs by Sean and Christof
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The October Diaries: The Keep

The Keep
Illustration by Max Brown
Blurbs by Jesse, Christof, and Sean
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The October Diaries 2014

The Whiteman Brothers and friends celebrate The 31 Days of Halloween by reserving the living room exclusively for horror films that no one in the room has seen. Sean and Christof (and sometimes guests!) write quick first impressions about the films while honorary Whiteman brother, Max Brown, makes an illustration for each of the new-to-us horror movies.

October 1: The Town That Dreaded Sundown
October 2: Dead Silence
October 3: Sorority House Massacre
October 4: The Keep
October 5: Deadly Friend
October 6: Cat People
October 7: The Initiation
October 8: The Company of Wolves
October 9: Night of the Demons
October 10: Sole Survivor
October 11: Wait Until Dark
October 12: The Conjuring
October 13: Eyes of Fire
October 14: Next of Kin
October 15: Schizo
October 16: Hardware
October 17: Society
October 18: I, Madman
October 19: Curse of Chucky
October 20: The Hand
October 21: Someone’s Watching Me!
October 22: Something Evil
October 23: Insidious
October 24: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
October 25: Eyes of a Stranger
October 26: Bad Biology
October 27: The Sacrament
October 28: You’re Next
October 29: Poltergeist II: The Other Side
October 30: All Cheerleaders Die
October 31: God Told Me To



The October Diaries: The Town That Dreaded Sundown

Illustration by Max Brown

 Illustration by Max Brown
Blurbs by Sean and Christof

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