The Whiteman Brothers…

were initially conjoined siblings, separated by years but biologically fused. You can imagine how painful this must have been for Mother Whiteman, housing three sons in her uterus at one time – that time being the better half of the 80’s. Then one glorious and bloody day that felt like years they all three ollied out on banana boards. Jesse and Sean were conjoined by the hair, Sean and Christof by the toenails, and Christof and Jesse by the jean jacket – luckily all three appendages were able to be cut without any fatalities, unless of course you count the death of innocence.

The Whiteman Brothers have been neither physically nor emotionally as close to one another as they were that fateful and rainy night on Dr. Shicklesnergenborfner’s coffee table prior to the gruesome operation… but, like, they try to keep in touch via Twitter or whatever.

Jesse Whiteman

Can beat Ducktales for Nintendo in under 10 minutes.


Sean Whiteman

Collects M.U.S.C.L.E. men.


Christof Whiteman

Has Halloween decorations up all year round.