A MOVIEGOER’S MANTRA

A Moviegoer's Mantra

The way I see it, there are three kinds of people out there. People who LOVE movies, people who don’t go to the movies, and people who shouldn’t go to the movies. In the last several years, I have been going to the movies more and more often than ever before, as I live in a city that has has been nationally ranked as one of the best for movie lovers, especially when it comes to independent and retro screenings. However the modern theatrical landscape has been tainted by the third grouping I’d mentioned above, people who shouldn’t be going to the movies to begin with.

The theater is not a place for conversation. FUCKING PERIOD. Read On! »



Mad Max vs. Angry Aaron

UPDATE — May 22, 2015:

Now that I have actually seen Mad Max: Fury Road, I can say with confidence that this motion picture seems, or strives, to be a piece of feminist literature by a male who collaborated with females to achieve it. Differences in terminology are important. If we are to call literature propaganda, and if we are to boycott something for its themes, symbols, and irony, we are just a few subtle regressive mutations away from burning books again. Read On! »



The October Diaries: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

 
 
 
legend-of-sleepy-hollow-1980-jeff-goldblum
Illustration by Max Brown
Blurbs by Nathan Maxwell Cann, Sean & Christof
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Photograph of a Tangerine

For a moment, the tangerine was a metaphor in his hand, but by the time he began peeling it, the thought had left him voided of any sense of the internal world’s expressive meaning associated with the fruit.

The wrinkles in his forehead had intensified their ridges. Mere seconds had passed. Whatever it was, it had been powerful.

The investigation sat crisply in the foreground, in shallow focus while the slices of tangerine disappeared into the bokeh of his mouth. When he gave up, he had gained nothing but the citric stickiness on his hand and the faint aftertaste of what he’d just consumed on his tastebuds.

The healthy treat seemed to have vanished. An existential waste. He stomped to the kitchen sink to wash his hands, and he vowed never to eat another tangerine until he could remember the metaphor.

50 years later, on his hover-death-bed, he said, “Eureka: I have it!”

But he didn’t really have it. He just wanted to taste one last tangerine. So he did. It was great! But then he died, and his hover-children were like, “Gross. Dead dad.”

The eldest hover-son took a stereoscopic “3D” photo with his EyePhone contact lenses, squinted a retro filter on to it that made his father’s corpse look orange with a reddish haze, and then left-winked it onto Facebook below a frowny face caption. He double-blinked several times within the first minute, refreshing his timeline and relishing the anxiety that came with waiting to see the first red notification symbol, waiting for the second and the third, waiting to see just how many Likes of condolence it would earn.



The October Diaries: Insidious

insidious-2010-demon 
Illustration by Max Brown
Blurbs by Sean & Christof
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The October Diaries: Something Evil

something-evil-1972-steven-spielberg
Illustration by Max Brown
Blurbs by Jesse, Sean & Christof
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The October Diaries: Someone’s Watching Me!

 
someones-watching-me-1978-john-carpenter
Illustration by Max Brown
Blurbs by Sean & Christof
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The October Diaries: The Hand

the-hand-1981-michael-caine
 
 
Illustration by Max Brown
Blurbs by Sean & Christof
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The October Diaries: Curse of Chucky

curse-of-chucky-2013-childs-play-6-poster-b Illustration by Max Brown
Blurbs by Sean & Christof
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The October Diaries: I, Madman

imadman
Illustration by Max Brown
Blurbs by Seann, Sean & Christof
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